Emotional trauma is an invisible weight that many adults carry silently, often without fully realizing how their big “T” and little “t” traumas have impacted their mental and physical health. Traumatic experiences can leave lasting scars that influence emotions, behaviors, and relationships, sometimes for years after the triggering event.
What is Emotional Trauma?
Emotional trauma, like any trauma, is a response to deeply distressing events or situations that overwhelm your ability to cope. It is a cognitive dissonance that occurs when something that happened to you does not align with how you see yourself. These events might include abuse, neglect, witnessing violence, or losing a loved one. It can be caused by bullying, experiencing racial/ethnic/gender/sexual bias, or workplace harassment. It can be a one-time event or something that occurred so frequently that you cannot remember a single instance. Any invalidating experience that creates a pattern of thinking or behavior meant to keep you emotionally or physically safe is a trauma. What may feel manageable for one person could be profoundly traumatizing for another.
The Causes of Emotional Trauma
Trauma isn’t just about what happened but also how the individual processes it. The founder of EMDR, Francine Shapiro (2001), coined the term “adaptive information processing (AIP) model.” She hypothesizes that the AIP assimilates our experiences into existing memory networks that are the basis of perception, cognitions, attitudes, and behaviors. When a traumatic event occurs, we need to process it, retain information that is useful for the future, let go of what does not serve us, and find acceptance. We must integrate these events as part of our stories, perhaps make some meaning, and thereby let go of the cognitive dissonance between the trauma and our sense of self.
Understanding the root causes of emotional trauma can help you make sense of your symptoms. While trauma can stem from a variety of experiences, some common sources include:
- Childhood Abuse or Neglect: Traumatic experiences during formative years often have lifelong consequences.
- Loss of a Loved One: Grieving the death of someone close can trigger deep emotional pain.
- Relationship Trauma: Toxic relationships or emotional abuse can leave lasting scars.
- Accidents or Natural Disasters: Experiencing a sudden life-threatening event can overwhelm your ability to cope.
Trauma doesn’t discriminate. From childhood trauma to adulthood stressors, anyone can experience it. Understanding that trauma responses are normal reactions to abnormal circumstances is vital for reducing self-blame.
Common Signs and Long-Term Affects of Emotional Trauma in Adults
Emotional trauma manifests in various ways—emotional, physical, cognitive, behavioral, and relational. If you have been affected by trauma, you might find that you think, act, and sometimes even connect or disconnect in extremes. When emotional trauma goes unaddressed, it can lead to more severe mental and physical health issues over time. Studies from the National Institutes of Health (source) reveal that unresolved trauma increases the risk of anxiety, depression, cardiovascular problems, and even autoimmune diseases. Trauma can also strain relationships, leading to trust issues, emotional outbursts, or a reluctance to form new connections.
Emotional Symptoms
- Persistent Sadness: You might feel hopeless about your future or have a negative view of people and the world.
- Anxiety: You might feel fear that lingers without a clear cause
- Anger: You might feel a sense of righteous indignation. The world, people, and you “should” be a certain way, and when people or events aren’t as they “should” be, you might feel rage.
- Emotional Numbness: You may feel detached or unable to connect emotionally with others.
- Intense Need for Connection: You may feel desperately lonely and crave love, friendship, and community. Once you have it, you may fear losing.
- Frequent Mood Swings: Your overall mood may change suddenly many times in one day, vacillating through joy, anger, love, sadness, jealousy, and a host of other emotions.
- Overwhelming Guilt or Shame: You may feel shame for the traumatic events you have experienced, even though you rationally know it’s not your fault
Physical Symptoms
Emotional trauma takes a toll on our brain, endocrine system, and our whole body. It’s important to note that your body and brain do not differentiate between physical and emotional threats. When you enter fight or flight mode, your adrenaline pumps, your heart beats faster, your hands shake, you might sweat, your digestive system shuts down, your muscles tense, and it’s hard to think clearly. The next level of activation is often imperceptible; it’s called fawning. Without being conscious of this activation level, you compromise your boundaries and yourself to keep yourself safe from harm, judgment, or abandonment. The Freeze response kicks in, numbing your mind and body after you have exhausted your flight or fight response OR if you feel so emotionally or physically unsafe and hopeless about your ability to change the situation that your body is prepared for death.
- Chronic Fatigue is caused by intense negative emotions and our reactions to them, which sap energy and focus. The freeze response makes you want to lie down, sleep, or zone out.
- Sleep Disorders: You may struggle to fall asleep due to intrusive thoughts, rumination, or nightmares due to the adrenaline in your body and your brain’s attempt to ensure you have done all you can to stay emotionally safe.
- Unexplained Aches and Pains: Headaches or muscle tension often accompany unresolved emotional trauma due to the SNS/flight or fight response preparing your body for battle or retreat. Research has indicated a relationship between long-term PTSD and chronic pain conditions such as fibromyalgia and lower back pain (Haüser et al., 2013; Pietzak, Goldstein, Southwick, Grant, 2013).
- Changes in Appetite: As mentioned before, trauma produces extremes: you might be the type to overeat for comfort, and others may have no appetite when they are triggered.
- Digestive problems: When your body goes into fight or flight, your digestive system shuts down so that all your blood and fuel can be used to run or fight. This can cause nausea, diarrhea, acid reflux, or cramping. When your body goes into freeze mode, it holds on to calories, which can cause you to gain weight. Over time, people with PTSD have an increased risk of obesity (Coughlin, 2011), stomach ulcers, gastritis, and arthritis (Pietzak et al., 2013).
- Cardiac Conditions: In the long run, folks with PTSD have an increased risk of hypertension, hyperlipidemia, and cardiovascular disease, angina pectoris, tachycardia (Coughlin, 2011; Pietzak et al., 2013
Cognitive Symptoms
- Intrusive Thoughts: You might have flashbacks or unwanted memories of the traumatic event that may resurface unexpectedly. These may be so strong that you feel as if you are reliving the trauma.
- Difficulty Concentrating: As mentioned before, obsessively thinking about a situation that feels like a threat can make it hard for you to stay focused or make decisions
- Avoidance: To keep yourself safe, you avoid. You might avoid social interaction, and wonder why you push people away or prevent triggers until your world becomes smaller and smaller.
- Forgetfulness: Trauma can impair memory, making it challenging to recall details or events. The freeze reaction can make you feel disassociated, which affects your ability to retain information.
Behavioral Symptoms
- Avoidance Behaviors: Steering clear of places, people, or situations that serve as reminders of the trauma.
- Hypervigilance: You may be constantly on edge, always anticipating emotional or physical danger, including in your relationships. You might hear from people in your life that you are others that you are controlling, clingy, or jealous.
- Social Withdrawal: On the opposite extreme, you might be distancing yourself from loved ones or avoiding social situations or relationships altogether to avoid pain.
- Substance Use or Addictive Behaviors: Using substances or other unhealthy coping mechanisms helps you numb your thoughts and emotions and thereby avoid thinking about your trauma.
- People Pleasing, Perfectionism, and Overperforming: Trauma can create the fawn effect to keep you safe. Do you care for everyone around you? Do you work long hours to get everything just right? Do you take great pride in perfection and feel anxious when anything falls short? Do you procrastinate because you are eager and don’t believe that what you create might not be good enough? This adaptation can be helpful for many years, but over time, it saps your mind, motivation, and energy.
Healing Emotional Trauma: Steps to Recovery
Healing from emotional trauma isn’t a linear process. It takes time, patience, and the right support system. Below are actionable steps to begin the recovery journey:
Seek Professional Help: Licensed therapists trained in trauma-focused treatments can guide you through the healing process. Skill-building therapies like Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT), and Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) can provide concrete skills to help you manage your symptoms and teach you philosophies of how to change your thought processes and reactions. Trauma-processing therapies will allow you to reprocess the emotional trauma, taking with you only knowledge that helps you and leaving the pain behind. Examples of trauma processing modalities include Eye Movement Desensitization and Response (EMDR), Narrative Therapy, Somatic Experiencing (SE) Therapy, Accelerated Experiential Dynamic Psychotherapy (AEDP), Internal Family Systems (IFS), and Trauma-Focused Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (TF-CBT), or Art Therapy.
Explore Support Groups. Connecting with others who have faced similar experiences can create a sense of belonging. Support groups provide a safe space to share and learn from others’ coping strategies. Most importantly, empathy for others with similar experiences can lead to greater compassion for yourself.
Practice Mindfulness and Self-Care. Mindfulness practices, such as meditation or deep breathing exercises, can help you stay present and regulate emotions. Self-care activities promote healing, such as yoga, journaling, and leisure time in nature.
Establish Boundaries: Setting clear boundaries can help avoid situations or relationships that might traumatize you. It’s okay to say no to people or events that feel overwhelming.
Educate Yourself on Trauma: Understanding trauma’s impact on your brain and body empowers you to make informed decisions about your healing journey. Knowledge reduces stigma and fosters self-compassion.
Reconnect with Joy: Engaging in activities that bring you joy—painting, dancing, or gardening—can restore a sense of normalcy and fulfillment.
Signs You Are Healing from Emotional Trauma
While the path to recovery is deeply personal, some signs indicate progress:
- Improved Emotional Regulation: Feeling more in control of emotions.
- Rebuilding Trust: Forming healthier relationships with others.
- Reduced Avoidance Behaviors: Facing previously feared situations with confidence.
- Increased Resilience: Handling stress and setbacks more effectively.
Conclusion
Healing doesn’t mean forgetting your trauma or forgiving the people who hurt you. It means you have accepted that the pain you experienced was part of your experience. It may have changed you, but we change throughout our lives. Doing the hard work of healing allows you to have post-traumatic growth, leading to a new and better you.
If you or someone you know is experiencing emotional trauma, don’t hesitate to reach out for help. Roots & Branches Therapy offers compassionate care tailored to each individual’s needs, providing a safe space to navigate the complexities of trauma and reclaim emotional well-being. Healing is a journey, and every step forward is a victory.
